So, I braved my first soft
play sesh here this morning (just with Rufus and Evelyn, Hector has flown the nest and is now a fully fledged full timer at pre school).
The only expectation
that I gave myself was to not leave shouting 'mum wankers' with corresponding
hand gestures. Anyway I felt fairly good about myself in a Mum capacity as I
actually walked Hector to pre school this morning with all children dressed,
fed and happy! Got there and immediately regretted warm clothing, small space
and too many over exuberant women all at the ready for some intense educational
soft play. I did what I always do, found a friend and pretty much expected my
children to get on with it. They did just that (even Evelyn!!).
The woman
running it actually had a big yellow tambourine (NOONE was allowed to touch it, it seemed, even children!) that she would use (regularly) to announce something.
Pah! It was classic. Thankfully Rufus knew his role and did not venture to the
painting/messy play table, tambourine woman did suggest this in her
announcements a few times though. He also was the last child standing at the
snack table, and am fairly sure that he actually ate a whole dinner plate of
cubed cheese. A bit like a feat of child vs cheese.
I wasn't prepared for the song song time at the end (or I
would've dived out under some premise that Evelyn was desperately
hungry/tired/ill) so I was caught up within the tightly packed circle.
Tambourine lady didn't use her tambourine, which was a shame as she really did
show a great flare. After her opening number she then took requests from the
floor which was totally awkward. One lad was told to ask for some 'crocodile' song
by his mum, claiming that he 'loved' to sing it at home. (As my friend wisely
pointed out it was more of a slow rap than an actual song. I was sidetracked
into letting her into my ideas on a Mum's open mic group, but stopped as I
realised there was some disapproving looks coming my way as this was not the
place or place for chitchat.) Either way, hilariously the lad who had requested
this croc song wandered off from his mother's lap in favour of playing near the
sink, leaving her stranded on the floor on her own. The goodbye song was not a
success, the aim was to go around every single mum there and say their child's
name, like in some weird call and response! It all got very awkward. Once I
escaped the sweatbox I did what I probably should've/would've done if I had not
gone this morning and went to Tesco and spent a small fortune on crap I don't
probably need. Nice!
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